What wonders will the new year bring I wonder. Will I be sad, wil I be lonely, or will i be happie, like angels are happy when they get their wings? [i]who needs feet when I can fly? _frida kahlo.[/i] Do you believe in angel blessing? do u see salvation in a bowl of cheerios? I invited death to my doorstep but he looked at me and turned away. I will always be alone.
I just saw frida, it was a good movie; but it could've been better, it could've been sublime. I just wished that the dialogue was in Spanish w/ english subtitles, it would've given the movie an air of authenticity. The cinematography was wonderful, it made u feel like you were inside the movie. I guess it conveyed the feelings that the character Frida was trying to potray. But in the back of my head, I just couldn't forget that I was watching Selma Hayek, which is never good, you want to see the character and not the actress. My favorite part of the movie was the song that was played in the end called Burn it Blue... by Caetano Veloso and Lila Dawn. It was so passionate and full of life. For me, it summed up what the movie was trying to say. I just wish that I could find a live version of this song, I've been in love w/ it ever since I heard it sung in the grammys. Fudge, I can't believe Eminem won best original song that year. One good thing about this movie was I came away from it wanting to find out more about Frida, the artist. She seemed like an intriguing individual with a true vision.
Oh well, the next stop for me is Finding Nemo, I can't wait to see it, I've heard so many good things about it. I hope it's cute.
I feel "crushed like a bug in the ground". I wake up disappointed I go to sleep disappointed. Frankly speaking, being a part of the human race is devaustating, being subjected to the injustices of human hierarchy even more. I wonder if its the same in the insect kingdom, do bugs have rankings too? big bugs little bugs pretty bugs ugly bugs rich bugs poor bugs.. It bugs me to think that I'm stuck in this place.
Yeterday my dreams just fell through a hole ---- O As I got home from a long day of shopping I just noticed it wasn't there anymore. ~~~~ Sometimes I wish I was a true-blue schizoid so i wouldn't feel let down all the time. My bad. unfinished thoughts....unfinished thoughts.... unfinished thoughts....unfinished thoughts....bad thoughts are better left unfinished.
[b]He's hoping his voice will be heard thru the rooftops of heaven. & that a bunch of angels will come down from this great height and rescue him.[/b]
[i]We should all be so lucky. [/i]
_shroom
i know why the caged bird sings is also the title of a book by maya angelou, i hope she doesn't mind that i use the phrase as well, cause i too know, a thing or two about birds. :)
Whenever I see two penguins walking side by side, both elegant in their tuxedos, looking like the happiest creatures in the world, I wonder. Being on the top of the food chain in the pyramid of sentient beings; if we're really the lucky ones. The society we have created for ourselves- wars we’ve invented, famine, pestilence, hate…all these things have become inherent to man, that sometimes I ‘ve been convinced into thinking that penguins would do a better job of ruling the world.
But then again, when I think about it long and hard; I realize, maybe it’s these things that makes it possible for love to exists. Experiencing hate teaches us compassion, living through hardships- sympathy. Amidst the storm of chaos and madness we find the essence of our humanity, we transcend the events, we overcome catastrophes, love beckons to us. We find out what it is to be human. If there’s anything I could say if I had to do with over again, is that the trip has definitely been worth it. I just hope that the second time around, I don’t come back as a tiny little sad speckled- bug, that’s begging to be crushed. That would truly be tragic.
I wake up at 6:00 am Climb down the stairs for breakfast & have an angry bowl of special k to be later accompanied by a trip to the bathroom to rid myself of my sickness
It's a new day. smile
work:
the process of opening envelopes & licking stamps can feel so familiar you forget your lips are moving
eleven soldiers in a flowerbed
The act of receiving can sometimes be too great that at times you win a war just for the heck of it
I started this blog cause I wanted to be honest with myself. I wanted to see my thoughts plainly written on the pages of a blank screen, the way they are written in my head, pure & simple. So many things get lost between the process of thinking and speech, I think we lose a little bit of ourselves in it as well. The moves you make in the performance of everyday life, little gesture that go on unnoticed; bobbling your head up and down, stammering of speech, flipping yr hear, the hesitation of an arm or a leg to move forward. These things, little tools that aid us in the exectution of mind-control over your own body, and of the people around us. This was to be my first true act of honesty, but I guess I failed miserably.
This is really not me, this is not who I want to be, this is an approximity of who I am as a person.
~~~ (the word doesn't even exists) [i]i dunno...i dunno...i dunno[/i]
[b]If we ever get lost, how will they ever find us?[/b]
Candy says I've come to hate my body and all that it requires in this world Candy says I'd like to know completely what others so discreetly talk about
Candy says I hate the quiet places that cause the smallest taste of what will be Candy says I hate the big decisions that cause endless revisions in my mind
I'm gonna watch the blue birds fly over my shoulder I'm gonna watch them pass me by Maybe when I'm older What do you think I'd see If I could walk away from me
velvet underground is one of the greatest band ever created. this is the song that goes on and on in my head
This is my favorite part of the day, when all the world seem asleep. & the only sound that remains is the sound of your voice digging through a deeper silence.
It is alright to be lonely. in this darkroom. Nothing surrounds us but these images & thoughts that later. I will cut into tiny butterfly wings that will suit your size.
This is my eternity in a bottle. like the sea, You enfolds me in a deep sleep.
until Darkness passes & we wake up to find all the stars ever hung in the sky has fallen. Toppled over building, People march on the streets, packed with things they will need in the afterlife.
We look at each other in surprise as if nothing has happened, I shake my head and look at your face for the very last time. I don't know anymore.
[b]SO[/b] I've been li[u]stenin[/u]g to your [b]footsteps[/b] As you passed [b]me[/b] by. S e c o n d s [b].Hours. [/b][u]m a y b e[/u] da[i]ys[/i] have passed. Since our. Last indes[b]tructable[/b] hell -o The d[b]esir[/b]e of a [i]candle[/i] to [b]outshine[/b] the The [b]blistering [/b]Sun is leg[b]endar[/b]y. Kinda like the [b]mind[/b]-[i]heroine [/i]dise[b]ase [/b] that fits dear Ol' saint Peter-[b]sberg[/b] like a [i]glove[/i] in an old [b]edition [/b]of a comic book- before electricity was invented people used to [b]smile[/b] at each other kinda like what you are sh[b]owing [/b]me now exc[i]ept [/i]your face is turned [b]the other w[/b]ay & your dress is hooked on backwards.
& I think [b]you[/b] have given me [i]a ch[/i]ill that I will later discover a[i]fte[/i]r the [u]fact [/u]
that my [b]watch [/b]has been mis[b]sing[/b]...
...It's been days since I saw you [b]last
[/b]I [i]won[/i]der if time is [b]stil[/b]l ticking.
Last night I had onother episode, an overwhelming sense of depression suddenly took control over my body. It's almost like being upducted by aliens against your will, you just have to go through the process of kicking and screaming and crying. Luckily it was over soon, and afterwards I was left exhausted, but cleansed of all the little atoms of grief that have taken resident inside my body. I'm a little dizzy now, cause I'm still drunk from the meds that I took. But it's all good, the world makes sense again.
Lying on a blanket of sand, watching the surfers ride the water as it gushes into a wave. This is my first view of the ocean, my first glimpse of my future, endless strand of sea, washing over the shore, as if nothing had ever happened, where one ends another one begins. Could this be my first idea of love? enormous, translucent as a white sheet, palpable like a fruit, to this day I can still taste seawater in my mouth.
It’s been years since I’ve seen the ocean, or anything as lucent as my blue that day, of my first excursion to the beach. I was nine years old in an old yellow sweater, drunk on thoughts that would later become nostalgia.
I thought I learned something different that day, what it is I’ve forgotten.
I feel so sad. Sometimes the reality of life just hits me in the pit of my stomach, where I hunger most for things that would make me happy. Are you like me? are you a dreamer. Does your silhouette dance at night while the world’s engine fall asleep to the sound of babies hissing. Well I hope someday you wake up in a land where it always mushrooms (laugh, laugh, laugh) I don’t know who you are, or what you look like, or if you’ll get there. But if you do, I’ll be waiting for you on the other side of the river, where the sun sleeps when he becomes tired of shining.
I like my voice when I can't hear it, that's why here it's so easy to be truthful, I'm enfolded by my silence. Are we accountable for every thought the passes through our minds? what do these things say about us? If life was like the movies, then do these images define us? I'd like to know some truth before I die. I would like someone to hear me before I completely pass into oblivion. Come let us strip out of these clothes and swim into the big ocean- a silencer that drowns the world. I need to forget for a while. Every gesture I make summons you. -shroom
I have run out of things to stay so I'm just gonna sit back and admire the view. * falls out of chair* It's Sunday- nothing special like an - ice-cream cone without the top. I remember scenes from my childhood, it's incredible how far away I seem from this time, like I've travelled a hundred years into my future, only to find it's a despoiled land colonized by aliens. Everything seems bigger when you're young, maybe it's because you're not aware at the time that you have little hands. How I wish I had little hands again.
of deep sea diving into the ocean. Rummaging for pearls. I need to get out more, out from the traffic... of the city. Clear my body of the tiny pollutions that permeates my skin.
I want to reinvent the meaning of grace and let each letter stand for holiness, a cure -for all the diseases man- kind has ever invented, my idea of love, kindess to strangers, and a red panic button. So help may come when you need it.
There is no paddling out of this sea, we sleep and resume our sadness when we arise.
women in love don quixote crime and punishment to the lighthouse i just finished the screenplay to my own private idaho, that was brilliant ( pure & simple)
I have the attention span of a fly. will i ever finish what I started.... I dunno.
I shake the trees for the fruit that hangs on the vines, but as always everything remains still, like a frozen kaleidoscope. Shake the dream of your sleep child, you're coming with me. Back into the wilderness, where you were harvested. Lions and Tigers & Bears Oh my!
~~
clockwork orange
are we there yet? my eyes struggle to escape. but this frozen movie keeps playing over and over in my head. surrounded by Beethoven's 9th. does my voice ring a bell of warm feelings? No it does not. I rather eat my steak raw & bleed to death. than be devoured by the wolf thankyouverymuch.
I like the thought of going away, it makes home seem easy. This is the photograph I keep tucked underneath my pillow. Who will save me from this bad dream? ...i wonder
I'm paralyzed at the thought of emerging from this room. I've grown accustomed to my sadness. I paint a happy smile on my face and fake amnesia while others hunt for their prey. Will they ever find us?
I’ve lost my ability of speech, my eyes have lost their gift to distinguish colors. I have reached a new height of boredom. Like a clock that ticks and ticks but doesn’t know it’s ticking, I’ve created a new silence in my mind. Seconds drift… time drifts… as I grow older… I drift away from everything that I love. Just the same. I’m packing up my things in a little red box & making plans for the future. I am ready for a new world!
-shroom [image]shroom_519738587.jpg[/image]
i wanna wake up in a land where it always mushrooms
